|AN AUDIENCE WITH LARA
Have video games been dominated for too
long by muscle-bound Arnie lookalikes?
A: I'm not
sure I'm qualified to answer that because
I don't play them. My mansion in England
has been without electricity for some
years now. I had been stranded in the
Gobi Desert and didn't return in time to
pay my bill - I don't miss it at all.
Q: I see.
How about the exploring profession then?
Far too many Indiana Jones lookalikes?
A: There are
plenty of mugs sniffing around tombs
these days, but a fedora hat and a cool
pair of chinos doesn't guarantee them all
fortune and glory. I find most of them
dead in catacombs, often missing a head
or a hand - I think they try to hold on
to their fedoras for too long.
Overdressing like this is a common
failing - I find shorts and a leotard
more than adequate enough. Though a whip
does go a long way in my book.
Q: Who is
it, then, that you respect the most?
A: All the
ancient ones who respected themselves
enough to design such harsh tombs in
which to be buried - and gave me my task
in life. Nobody goes to trouble like that
Q: Tell us
about your childhood?
childhood was really very normal; I live
with my parents and our servants in
Surrey. At 11, I went to boarding school
in Scotland and discovered rock-climbing
- soloing many mountain routes there
during netball practice. I also joined
the shooting club but was instantly
banned for showing too keen an interest
Q: Is your
lifestyle funded by your family heirloom
or the artifacts you acquire?
A: I put the
family heirloom into storage a long time
ago - it's really not a very interesting
collection of antiques. My local pawn
shop usually gives me good returns for
the artifacts I collect, but recently
Penguin approached me about publishing
some of my travel writings - with books
like 'Slaying Bigfoot' and 'A
Tyrannosaurus is Jawing at my Head.
Q: Who first
approached you for the role?
A: I hardly
consider my life as a role.
Raider has been compared to Mario64 on
Nintendo's new console, the N64. Have you
ever met a short, fat Italian called
A: No I
haven't. We're not compatible, as he's in
Nintendo - which is a shame, as I enjoy
small, fast moving targets.
Q: What's it
like being a role model?
A: I can't
say I've thought about it much - else
would I still mutilate furry animals and
raid ancient, sacred tombs? Well,
probably. It's not really a problem for
me - Julia Roberts once moaned that she
could no longer dance naked in the street
or something, but as yet I don't feel my
actions to be constrained in any way.
Raiding tombs is actually a very
anonymous activity - there's only the
dead watching your every move.
Q: Were you
asked to do anything in the game you feel
A: Dying is
always an uncomfortable experience, it
takes a lot out of you. Although being
scalped by bats is quite humiliating as
Q: Is it
true you were asked to pose naked for a
A: Yes, but
they really meant it - no guns, not even
my pistols. So I refused.
you enticed with the prospect of
appearing alongside such talents as
never discovered what it is she's done to
develop such fame. Whatever feat she has
achieved, I certainly admire her ability
to cash in on the publicity. I'm not sure
why she takes her clothes off, though -
her vital statistics are a bit diminutive
for it. Surely she can't be doing her
true talent any justice?
the next project for you?
A: I've been
considering redecorating my house for
quite some time. Maybe it's about time I